Is it worth holding on…

I decided to befriend them. I made the choice.

In everything I do my whole entire life, they’ve been there for me. In fact, they still are. I can’t help to say or ask myself sometimes if it is worth holding on to them. When anxiety takes over, it’s to go to them because they are so Positive, so Strong. When I am in the dark hole it’s as if I do not want to see the light at the end. I just want to sit and stare at the darkness, punishing myself. Deep inside my friends will always reach out, not giving up on me because we are part of each other.

DETERMINATION

To keep trying, to keep pushing and not give up. No matter how tough it gets, to hold on and keep moving.

Well, I can’t help asking myself sometimes… Why don’t you just give up, stop being ambitious, be like some people who don’t live life but only exist.

But that’s not who I am, it’s not how and what I feel. I can remember from the day I could think and understand, I knew I want to mean something in life. I knew I can be more.

I’ve always had Determination by my side.

MOTIVATION

Mostly Self-motivation.

The ability to do, push and reach something without the influence of others. Yeah, that’s pretty much how it’s been my whole life. However, I must add that I do appreciate those who takes the time to motivate me, especially the ones who sometimes don’t realize it. Sometimes people just say or do something without realizing the impact they have in someone’s life.

I go nowhere without Motivation, it keeps me strong and remind me of my goals.

WILL-POWER

It comes with Determination. When I put my mind to something I stick to it. I know discipline comes with it, and yes, I can be well disciplined. I don’t like failing without trying, I will not set a goal and not reach it. Unless, unforseen circumstances arise and changes needs to be made. I can handle change but, not pushing through is not part of me.

COURAGE

Without Courage none of it is possible. Courage needs to eat, drink and sleep with me. In today’s life, Society, the people… I need Courage. It keeps me focused on what’s my needs, beliefs and priorities. It is not always easy, the struggle is real. But I know in my ♥ Heart, God gave me Courage.

FAITH 

As a child of God, I firmly believe he is by my side at all times. I know he got big plans for me. I just need to have faith, walk in his footsteps and not the world’s.

With Faith comes Wisdom. God wants what’s best for us, but he gave us Choice. If we are focused on the wrong things and don’t listen to the voice of God, we lack wisdom.

It can be hard sometimes. But I have Faith
My Health and Fitness journey is tuff but I love it. It made me a better person. I am a go getter, I am strong. Mentally, Physically, and Spiritually.

LET’S DO HEALTH

The Goal versus The End result

Fear = Doubt

It has been almost more than three weeks now. I got stuck again. I went into my corner of fear/doubt/negativity/disbelief

A corner I often visits, a corner I sometimes want to stay in for as long as I want to, knowing it is slowly damaging my inner self. But, it is easier to sit there than to get out and face the world, face the challenge, to stay Positive, to keep Believing and to learn from my Mistakes.

 I am a strong girl, a strong Believer, a Dreamer and an Achiever. I know with every challenge there will be obstacles and I know I can overcome it, but for the past three weeks it felt like I just wanted to not try anymore. I felt like giving up on ambition, to just Exist… Why oh Why? I started to not believe in myself anymore, I started to have more Doubt in myself.

And yet, the strong, courageous, determined girl deep inside of me did not give up. Through all the Fear and Doubt she just don’t give up on me.

The result vs the Goal

I came to realisation, my problem started when I decided to focus more on where I want to be rather than focusing on the Goal and the plan. I wanted the end result so badly, I lost complete focus. It lead to me not doing what I am suppose to in order to reach the end result. For example: my studies, registering my business, set up a business plan, do research, all of it stood still…

There is always Hope


I am glad I can admit when I am making mistakes. I wanted to write so many blog posts already, but because of the corner of self doubt I didn’t want to.

But here I am, not giving up.

The reason I chose Health and Fitness

 I will always say, I just love this Journey!!! The challenge is never ending, the temptations, the emotions, I can name so many. It is not only physical, it is mental and spiritual.

Finding yourself, that self love, innermost, the peace is just wonderful.

On bad days, taking a run or doing a workout at home do wonders. Instant change in moods and mindset. 

We also sometimes forget to pray, just pray..

I plan to make the most of my journey no matter what.

Yay to a Positive Lifestyle no matter What!

Happy Child Happy Mom

Happy Not Spoiled

I will always do everything in my power to see that my son is Happy and feel loved.

Every choice I make, I always take in consideration how it will have an affect on my son and family. 

I so badly want to leave my job and start from scratch with my business, do my studies full time. But, I can’t. At the moment things are going well, we are doing good and improvement is there no matter how slow. So, in this circumstances of being unhappy at my job, I need to make things work around it. 

We live close to my Son’s school, I’ve changed my shift from 07:30 to 16:10 in order for me to take my son to school, not too early but 10minutes before school starts.

Since last week, we got a notice our lease are not renewed!!  Oh my hat!! As we on a house hunt or flat, I am getting more stressed and panick. The places either to far or too small. And through all if this I am just thinking of my lil boo 

Yes, sometimes change is good and needed. I do not believe in putting myself in unnecessary uncomfortable situations. I left our predicament in God’s hands, he always look after his children. We looked at a very nice house yesterday, in fact, Perfect. But the area is not what I am use to, I didn’t feel save outside but the inside awesome… Is it enough though?? I am not prepared to put ourselves in danger.

I remember one day we took a drive to Sea Point, taking our boy out for the day. For some reason my husband and I had a fight. He decided not to go anymore, and guess what this scared and fearful mom did.. She drove lol I did not know how or where, but I thought in my mind, I am not going to disappoint my child because two adults are being “stupid” (a word my son believe is swearing)

We get up early in the mornings, so that everything can go smoothly. We want our son to wake up with us kissing and singing him awake everyday. And it works. He go to school knowing his family is happy. When I discipline him, or help him right I always make him understand it’s because I love him, and I need him to understand when he is wrong and to accept being disciplined and learn from his mistakes.

Sometimes I feel I fail as a mommy in certain areas, but I make sure my child is happy, loved  and cared for.

My Mom

I love my mom however, we never had a very close relationship. I grew up at my grandparents. My mom and I use to fight alot when I was younger. I was always angry at her for not always being there for me. I never wanted kids because I was too afraid of making the same mistakes. But I’ve decided to learn from hers.

But as I grew older, I started to realise I can’t punish her for her mistakes. In her weaknesses she still tried, even if I felt she should’ve done more. She did good, she taught me to be a strong woman and to never want to be like the world. I am so grateful for what she did, what she could.

Today I can help her where I can, I prayed a lot about my grudge feelings and hurt. God helped me to overcome it. She us my mom and I will not change her for anything.

Let’s keep iur children happy, even when can’t give them anything. We can always give them Love. Let us not leave them with grudge feelings, hurt and pain. But let them always remember we tried our best.

Let’s Do Health!

Another blog about my fears as a Mom

On 11January I’ve shared a bit about my fears as a mommy. 


My son is settled in at School

After a long week of crying, feeling sad and worried, everything is doing quite well now. 

We are so Happy to see how grown up our little boy is. His teachers love him, in the mornings we can see how he tells them long stories hehehe(and that boy can talk). Other kids calling him by the name etc. 

I noticed he don’t really want to kiss me in the mornings, so I asked him why. And as always he had a good made up explanation and the very next day he gave me a big kiss to please me hahaha.

The kids must take extra clothing for oopses. And my 5yr old got a phobia to not “number2” anywhere but at home. That was my biggest fear, because it is a full day. I always tell my husband, he won’t be able to hold it so long. So well, Today… My husband fetched him then me. This little son of mine, got his pants on back to front and his under pants tucked into his pocket zipped close. He told us he had an accident, and everything is fine LOL

I am trying now to explain to him nicely, it is fine to tell your teacher to go to the loo. Yeah, that boy got some skills.

I love how he tells us in the morning not to be late, and at night my big boy sleeps at 20:00pm. When he was younger we struggled, he never liked going to bed on time. But now, it just happend naturally 🙂 

Parenting

I would love to say all parents love their kids to bits, but what I see and hear everyday is disgusting! Today I heard a mom asking her boy around 9yrs old, what did the girl around 2-3yrs say.. The boy answered: she want to be picked up The mom’s response: is she insane!

Omw! I will die if anyone speak like that to my son.

A week ago, my husband saw a nanny standing under a tree with a 3yr old boy, it was a hot day. She was drinking water while this poor boy was reaching out for it but she was seeing to her needs first. It kills me, if my husband had to tell me earlier I would’ve stopped and confronted her.

We as parents should love all kids even if it’s not our own. They need love, nurturing, care, empathy, guidance, discipline etc.

I love every second, minute, hour, day, night, of being a mom. Teaching my child, disciplining him, loving him, being crazy with him and just looking at him. How he grows everyday.

Everything I do, I first consider my family. That is what we as mothers do.

A Shout out to all wonderful moms out there, who is striving to be the best she can. Accepting  the mistakes and failures, by learning from it and moving forward.

Let’s Do Health 

Fears of a mommy

Today I decided to share the blogpost I wanted to share a while ago.

Firstly, I wish everyone a very happy 2017. We are blessed and should give thanks to God.

Indoors for 7days with sick toddler

My poor son was diagnosed with chickenpox last week. Luckily I saw it early enough so I guess it could’ve been worse.

I can’t remember having it as a child. I must say it is Horrible!! I would like to believe that all moms hate seeing their kids suffer. The fever Omw! I felt so weak.. The pox started in his head and mouth and all I could do is comfort him with my love. We had the best meds so Patience was all we needed. He couldn’t where any clothes, and I had to explain over and over why he must be naked. Worst of all is the nightmares, because he is using his imagination so wildly. He explains how the pox infiltrate his heart and brain, how they jump over his whole body exploding… Lol 

To get to the point..

My little boy is going to school for the first time in 9days. I am already terrified about that and then the Pox decided to visit over new years weekend.

I thought I was fine the day of the interview with the principal, but Not. Then the day we had the meeting with his future teacher, seeing all the other parents and kids made me feel good again. As a parent I always look at the environment, actions, the way they speak and the approach. Yes, this is my child’s future so I am judgy and picky. In today’s life we read and hear all the stories of bullying and other terrifying stuff. I know no matter where it is a possibility everywhere, but how high and low is the risk factors. I believe you can see it in the leaders. 

His first day..

I took my annual leave luckily for when my son go to school, because I know I am going to cry my eyes out everyday and i’ll be an emotional wreck. Questions I keep asking, how he will feel, will he make friends easily, will his teacher like him, so so many….

Every time he went to a new day care I was a wreck, but for some reason he was always loved at his schools(daycare). His classmates loved him so much, he is like the little comedian.

Today..

He is doing much better, no fever, he is eating well and the talking is again unstoppable. So his went to chemist today, and they say we can wash him now.. Aaaaah, again I do not want to because the pox not gone yet, and the doctor said no bathing.. Fearful mommy

So yes, I am walking with a knot in my throat and tummy. But he believes God always give him great powers, so my trust will be in God just like my little boy put his in God.